‘Pageant’: And the winner is…

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PAGEANT: THE MUSICAL
Book & lyrics by Billy Russell & Frank Kelly

Music by Albert Evans
Original concept by Robert Longbottom
Directed by Matt Lenz
Davenport Theater
354 West 45th Street
212-239-6200, www.PageantMusical.com

 

By David NouNou

 

If you are old enough (or were fortunate enough) to have watched the Miss America Pageants of the 1960s or 1970s, in the days when the shows and the girls weren’t as high-tech and polished as today’s pageants, when their smiles were pasted on, their talents reeked in the cheese factor, and the contestants took themselves too seriously and believed in world peace, you’ll howl in recognition at this satire that is spot on in every aspect.Whether you watch Miss America, Miss USA or Miss Universe, today’s pageants are so slick and the women are so overtrained that the only joy comes in the final round when the five finalists have to answer a final question, and we watch in sadistic glee to see which girl answers her question miserably and become a sensation over the Internet or the punch line of every late-night  TV talk-show host.

Believe it or not, there were gentler times, when the girls were wide-eyed and naïve enough to believe that the next girl crowned would bring about world peace.I must admit that, even at a young age, I had a penchant for all three pageants and still do. In the 60s and 70s, my least favorite of the three was Miss America because of the talent portion. They used to seem interminable and dreary. It wasn’t till the 90s, when a friend gave me some vintage Miss America tapes starting in 1958, with the crowning of Mary Ann Mobley until 1970, with the crowning of Phyllis George, did I realize what a treasure trove of pure crap was captured, preserved and passed off as talent. The talent didn’t just consist of singing and some form of dance as is the fashion today, but the girls were actually inventive and imaginative in their creativity. Talent ranged from archery to sewing and ventriloquism and everything in between; and if a girl lacked talent, there was always the old standby, the monologues. They were priceless, if for no other reason than the conviction of the delivery, and if that didn’t work, there was another standby, “interpretive dance,” in some absurd costume.

Well, fret no more because Bill Russell and Frank Kelly have captured every one of those dreadful, tacky presentations and more in this revival. They have distilled it to 90 minutes of rapturous joy. Starting with the wonderful emcee, John Bolton, giving a performance that is making Bert Parks (who was the host of Miss America for 25 years) beam in his grave. Mr. Bolton gives the embodiment of every self-satisfied host who thinks he’s presiding over NATO peace talks. The six contestants competing for Miss Glamouress are absolutely sublime. In no particular order, I’ll just give their region and talent, for the rest you’ll just have to go see the show and savor every moment: Nick Cearley (Miss Great Plains), a serious Native American monologue/dance in full regalia, an absolute howl; Nic Corey (Miss Industrial Northeast) playing the accordion, a stereotypical Latina Princess replete with accent; Alex Ringler (Miss Texas), you guessed it, singer, rodeo dancer, and skips rope; Marty Thomas (Miss Deep South), a ventriloquist with multiple puppets and voices, so spot on I was left breathless with laughter,  Seth Tucker (Miss West Coast), embodiment of every awful interpretive dance performance; and finally, Curtis Wiley (Miss Bible Belt; the title says it all with a show-stopping number.) Pity there was no baton twirler that always brought the house down. Every performance is different because audiences members selected as “guest judges” get to choose the winner.

There are two more things Pageant: The Musical possesses: great costumes by Stephen Yearick that captures every aspect and section of the competition; and Matt Lenz, who brought the whole show together in a tight, effective and enjoyable evening. You don’t have to be an expert in beauty pageants to enjoy this show. All you need is a sense of humor and the ability to appreciate wonderful satire.